The House Closed!

Hallelujah, God is good!  Our house in Florida closed yesterday!  I am so very thankful that this burden has been lifted off of my parents.  It is such an answer to prayer and such a relief.  My whole family is so grateful to everyone who was so faithful to consistently pray for the house to sell.  It was an encouragement to hear that people were praying.  Thank you to everyone who has been praying.  And thank you for rejoicing with us.  This is such an awesome thing that has happened.  My family has constantly been reminded, through all the trials we have been through together, that our God is good and He reigns and He holds us in His mighty hands and He knows the perfect timing for all things.  I am thankful for our trials.  I am thankful for everything the Lord has shown my family through this house situation.  And He continues to bring my family closer and closer together.  Whatever we face next, whenever that is, we will be more ready for it.  Praise the good Lord for allowing the house to sell and the closing to go smoothly!  Praise God! 

~Sarah

Update on the house situation…

So when we moved from Florida to Tennessee, since our house didn’t sell yet, my parents had to find someone selling a home that would do a lease/purchase deal.  They found a builder that would and we moved into the house in early August.  But the contract is coming up to an end (after 6 months) and the house down in Florida hasn’t sold yet, so my parents won’t be able to close on the house we moved into.  And after talking to the builder about extending the contract, that won’t happen, so my parents spent the weekend looking at houses in the same area.  More will be figured out in a few days, but once again, my parents have to move, even if it’s just down the road.  It’s still exhausting and a burden on my parents, but they have been so strong and have had so much faith through all of this, it really has encouraged me and made me so proud of my parents and how they are handling all of these trials.  My family definitely knows about trials, especially these last 4 years, and each one has made them stronger and given them more faith.  My dad’s company still hasn’t moved to Memphis, and in fact the company keeps pushing back the date for when they will move from Virginia, and so once again my dad has to figure out all this housing and moving stuff from a distance while working and commuting back and forth and so on.  Moving is hard when you are living at home, let alone being a couple states away and only home on the weekends, and also having to bargain to figure out someone who will do a lease/purchase.  Hopefully someone will be open to that.  Cory and I will be going to help them move in a couple weekends…should be interesting, since I feel like we just did that.  Anyway, I’m just really proud of how my parents have handled things.  I know it is so hard for them and I know these past couple of years have been anything but easy; they continue to show all 4 of us kids their love and devotion to our family and strength that will pull through.

~Sarah

Please Pray!!!

Please pray for our house down in Florida to sell!  My family would appreciate all the prayers we can get for this!  It needs to sell, and it needs to sell like yesterday.  We know that it is all in God’s perfect timing, and we are trying to be patient and learn what we can from this, but it is a burden for my parents in several different ways.  I really want this burden to be lifted from them.  They are being so wonderful and have such good spirits about everything.  It has been encouraging to watch them grow through this trial, as is with every trial our family has encountered.  But please be praying for our house in Sunset Lakes in Winter Garden to sell!  Thank you so much!

~Sarah

“and by His wounds we are healed”

I have such great news!  Last Friday I went to the Wound Management Center at the hospital for my weekly checkup.  It was just a normal Friday morning for me, getting up really early and going to the doctor and getting back to my room right as most people around campus were waking up.  But this turned out to be my last appointment!!! I received my discharge papers and my “graduation from the wound center” certificate.    I am healed!  No more open wound!  The skin is really really thin and will take up to a year to completely thicken and be “normal.”  So I just have to continue to use gauze to protect it.  But I am so over-joyed that my wound has healed.

This has been such a long and painful process.  It has been an entire year of weekly doctor visits, sugeries, excrutiatingly painful healing processes, and major bonding between my parents and I, my doctors and I, and Cory and I.  I wouldn’t want anyone at all to go through all I’ve gone through this past year.  And I pray that I will never forget the pain, because it has truly strengthened me and encouraged me to know that I can get through anything!  I can never forget the lessons that I have learned.  I will probably never know why I have had to go through everything I did, until I am in the presence of my Lord.  But I do know that the initial reason for that first happening a year ago, was God’s way of getting my attention and teaching me to slow down and not be so busy.  If I ever begin to over commit myself, which I am so prone to do, I need to think back to this past year, and the way God taught me to slow down, to cut back on things, and not be overly committed.

I may never understand why I had to trudge through this specific valley, but I have come to appreciate and be thankful for the way God has allowed me to have an entirely new perspective on the words “by His wounds we are healed,” and “His wounds have paid our ransom.”  These phrases we so easily sing (or read in Scripture), I can no longer sing (or read) without getting completely choked up and overwhelmed.  It is truly humbling.  I have had a small taste of what it was like for Christ Jesus to have wounds, and just this small taste (that in no way comes close to comparing to what He endured) has given me a new and fresh love for Him and an entirely new and fresh outlook on what He went through.  And for that I am eternally grateful.  And because of that, I would go through it all again.

~Sarah

Break Me of My Pride…

Well it has been a busy and overwhelming past couple of weeks.  We had registration for winter and spring courses, and with that comes many hours of trying to organize what classes to take when and so much more.  I met with my advisor for the first time a couple weeks ago to introduce myself and go over the classes I transferred and what all I need to take here.  And well if I do want to continue to major in English, in order to teach high school, I found out that I would also have to have a minor in Education and apply to be in the Teacher Education Program, while also minoring in Christian Studies.  At first, I saw no problem on graduating “on time” in just four years, May 2010.  But, I forgot the fact that if I do want to pursue education, the last semester of my senior year I have to student teach and not take any courses that semester.  I had tech prep credits from West Orange, about 8, that did not transfer over; and on top of that Valencia did not require sciences with labs, and Union does so, so both Cory and I have to retake sciences and do them with a lab.  I also have to do some physical education courses.  So all in all, I have a lot of courses to take, and I’m not exactly sure when I will graduate, maybe a semester later in the fall of 2010 or a year later in the spring of 2011.  And as I initially thought about this, I couldn’t even conceive it.  I did not, and still do not, want to graduate “later” than I should.  I never even considered graduating anytime after May of 2010.

And then I realized something.  I completely love school.  I love Union, the professors here, the faculty and stuff, and all that I am learning.  To study under such amazing men and women of God who are so wise and have so much knowledge, as well as humility, is such an awesome thing that I do not take for granted and its something that I truly enjoy.  So why would I not desire to spend more time here (other than of course finances).  And I’ve come to see that it’s my pride.  I don’t want to graduate past 2010 because of what other people will say or what others will assume.  I don’t want people to look down on me or see themselves as better than me.  I don’t people to see me as weak or dumb or as someone who doesn’t try or doesn’t work hard.  I don’t want people to look down on me, to make fun of me, to belittle or discredit or undervalue me.  And it all comes down to pride.  I don’t mind here at Union longer than I anticipated, if anything that is a blessing, but I care too much about what people think.  My pride tells me that I can’t stay here, that I can’t be here any longer than next May.  My pride stands tall and I tell myself that I don’t want to be here any longer than 2 years, that I can’t be here any longer than 2 years.

I’m so glad that I have a God that loves me enough to break me of my pride.  I’m so glad God gives believers the Holy Spirit, who convicts our hearts when we stray from the ways of the Lord.  As my pride in this area has led my heart to not align with the heart of our Almighty God, my prayer has been that God would break me of my pride.  And He is and will continue to.  Please pray for me as this will be a daily struggle and battle.

~Sarah

I’m Healing Finally!!!

Well my last doctor’s visit was encouraging, the first encouraging visit in a long time, well actually, since this all started almost a year ago.  What the doctor decided to use last time for my wound worked!  And so now I’m just keepin on keepin on, using what she gave me, and then I go back next Friday.  I go to my nurse here at school once a week, just for him to check and make sure I’m doing things right and that this stubborn ole wound is looking ok.  And yesterday when I went to see him, he was sooo encouraging and said that the next time I go see my doctor I should be 90% healed!  It’s such a delight to hear those words and so wonderful to be healing.  I was joking around with Nurse Paul saying I don’t really remember what its like to not have this wound, and to not be bandaged up all the time.  It’s going to be weird being “normal.”  But God is so good.  I know He has a plan and reason behind why I’ve gone though everything I have this past year, and I know He is good and His timing is perfect; there is a reason why I haven’t been healing up till now, even though I may not be sure of what it is right now.  I’m just so thrilled to actually be progressing in this whole healing process.  It’s such an answer to prayer.  Speaking of answers to prayer….Now if the house down in Florida could just sell…

~Sarah

Praise God!

Well I went to the doctor on Friday.  My school nurse’s wife drove me there (cause she works there).  I checked in at the outpatient area in the hospital and after registering, there was a problem with my insurance.  It was showing that it was inactive.  So I had to go back into the waiting room, and after a few phone calls to my dad we figured out that the only reason it was inactive was because they hadn’t gotten my new course schedule so it wasn’t showing in the (insurance company’s) system that I was a full time student.  So thankfully it was just a minor thing, although it was frustrating.  And after sitting there for an extra hour and a half in the waiting room, I was able to finish registering and then thankfully I was still able to be seen in the wound care center, even though my appointment time had passed.  I left outpatient and went down the hallway to the wound care center.  I cannot explain how nervous I was.  So many thoughts and feelings and past pains were running through my mind and I could not hold back the tears.  I met some lovely ladies that worked there.  They were all so sweet and so nice and caring.  When the doctor finally came back, what she had to say was so positive!  She said that she didn’t think the wound was infected and as long as it continues to be properly looked at and bandaged and taken care of, it should heal very quickly.  I was thrilled that the Lord protected me from infection and from the possible pain I was expecting to go through.  Praise the Lord!  So I was put on a new plan to get on track with healing.  I will go to the wound care center at the hospital once a week till I’m all healed up.  And every other day I will go to Nurse Paul at school and he will change the dressing and clean it.  My predictions a few months ago were right about becoming good friends with the nurse at school   And even though I missed two classes on Friday, one of them (which I was nervous about missing, since we had a quiz and its the most demanding) didn’t even meet since it was our first chapel and also dedication of the new dorms ceremony; so the Lord was just orchestrating everything in such an awesome way.  Anyway, I need to go get ready for church now, but I am so thankful that God was watching over me and allowed me, this time around, to not have to deal with much pain.  It is definitely weird though laying in the bed in the room and not knowing what to expect, of course I expect to go through what I’ve already been through, after hearing the same initial words about “infection and opening back up.”  I just laid there saying Psalm 23 over and over.  And it is amazing how much Scripture can encourage you and comfort you and remind you of the Truth of God’s character and love for you.  Praise God the procedure wasn’t as bad as before!  Thank you so much for your prayers!!!

~Sarah

Really?!??!

Well first of all, this has been our first week of classes.  I must say it’s gone good.  This week has definitely been exhausting though.  It’s tiring getting used to a new schedule and going to classes again and walking around so much.  Naps are becoming a daily priority for me   But anyway, classes are good.  The professors here are so awesome.  They really are.  This semester Cory and I both have Greek, Old Testament Survery, Bible Study and Interpretation, New Testament Survey, and Sophomore Seminar (a writing class thats required).  So we definitely have a full load.  It’s been a blessing that we are in some of the same classes.  It’s great to have the encouragement and accountability and stuff.  More than anything we have so much reading to do.  We have hours of reading each day for all our courses, but Greek is going to take the most out of us.  It is truly very demanding and requires lots of studying each day.  I think it will be well worth it though.  And our professor tries to remind us that this isn’t just a course, but a way to worship the Lord and draw closer to Him.  It’s so cool to have professors that really care about you and your spiritual walk.  Just like Cory said, it’s such a huge blessing being able to attend this school, and it’s something that neither one of us takes lightly.  We are so humbled and gracious that this opportunity has come our way and so glad we are here experiencing this.  There are definitely tiring, frustrating, and tough times that have come about and will come ahead, but I know this is where we are supposed to be, and I’m so glad to be here.  So the first week of classes has gone well, its been a bit overwhelming, and I know Cory and I both are ready to get into the swing of things and get going with classes.  It’s going to be a demanding semester but in the end our God is going to be glorified and that is so exciting!

And even though the classes themselves have been good, this week hasn’t necessarily been the greatest in other areas.  Making friends is hard, especially when you’re coming in as a transfer, as a junior.  But I know God has a plan and I know we’ll meet just the right people who we will become great friends with.  It’s only the first week, so I know there is lots of time ahead, but it feels like its going to go by really fast.  I did have a great dinner with my RA and one of my roommates, we just had a great time of fellowship and talking and getting to know each other and praying together.  It was refreshing and encouraging and so wonderful.  It’s definitely something I needed and desired and I hope the friendships I began to make tonight will grow.

But despite it being tough to make friends, I was also feeling a bit of discomfort the past couple of days with my wound area (to put it nicely)    So today, with Cory pushing me to go   I went to see the college nurse.  Nurse Paul is the nurse here on campus and after meeting him for the first time today, he is such a sweet and caring and encouraging and gentle man.  I’m really grateful he is here.  But anyway, I went to him today and he saw my wound and told me that it is infected, once again.  The tears started flowing right when he said that cause I knew what that meant.  His wife actually works at the wound care center here in Jackson and so he called there and was able to get an appointment for me tomorrow (Friday) morning at 8.  That’s not really something I’m looking forward to.  I cry just thinking about it.  It’s not going to be surgery, where I’ll be under.  But I wish I was.  I won’t know exactly what the procedure will be like till they look at it tomorrow.  But I have a feeling its going to be a bit like that first E.R. visit.  And I can’t even handle just thinking about that.  It’s really weird going into something knowing the pain of it.  It’s one thing to go into something having no clue, but it’s another to go in already having experienced it.  And I can’t handle it.  And my parents were by my side the other time, and waiting for me after the surgeries, but this time it’s just me.  And that’s scary.  I’m scared to death, I’m nervous and I don’t understand why I have to have another procedure.  A thing that was supposed to take a month to heal has turned into 10 months.  10 months of daily dealing with this issue.  Each day waking up and having to face this and tell myself its temporary, even when it feels like its not.  Can I really be having to go through this again?  Really?  I honestly don’t understand it, and I know we won’t understand most of the suffering we go through in this life.  I just don’t think I can take anymore.  I’m tired and worn out and I thought it was over.  But it’s not.  And I’m still tired and worn out and even more exhausted from dealing with this.  I’m scared to death of the appointment in the morning.  I don’t know exactly how long it will take or what it will be, but I just know they have to open it up a little more to get the infection out and let it heal properly, again, but I won’t be out.  They’ll probably numb the area, like they did that first time, and I can’t handle it.  I know my God can though.  And that’s what is helping me get through this.  I surely can’t handle anymore, but my Jesus is so much bigger than this.  It hurts Him to see me hurting, but sometimes I can’t help but question why do I have to go through this again.

I know this was long, I’ve seem to have a lot going through my mind and heart right now.  It’s hard to prepare yourself for something like this.  Please pray for me tomorrow.  My appoinment is at 8.  I am actually meeting Nurse Paul’s wife at 7:45 at the clinic here on campus, and she will drive me to the hospital where the wound specialist center is, and then Nurse Paul will come pick me up.  Please keep me in your prayers.  I am praying for strength and courage and just the ultimate feeling of His embrace.  I can’t go through it on my own, thats for sure.  I really can’t believe this is happening again, but I’m in God’s hands, and have been throughout these whole 10 months.  Physical suffering is such a weird thing.  It’s so hard to understand at times, but it’s almost not to be understood.  It might just be something that causes you to run into your Father’s arms and be held by Him.  I will try to write an update tomorrow.  Please please keep me in your prayers.

~Sarah

And on a side note-please pray for our house to sell in Florida, it really really really needs to sell this month!

A New Beginning

So this might be kind of long.  I move into my dorm tomorrow, and wanted to write this before the craziness of the semester begins.  But there seems to be a lot to say.  So hopefully you’ll bear with me, here it goes…I can’t believe it is already September.  This year is going by so fast, but at the same time, it seems like has gone on forever.  2008 has been a crazy year for me.  There is no doubt about it that this has been a(nother) year of testing and trials.  Hardships aren’t really new to me.  I’ve dealt with a lot, my family has dealt with a lot, and we have overcome a lot.  There constantly seems to be some sort of trial going on, whether it be physically or emotionally or spiritually or academically.  There is always some battle going on, some fight to persevere through.  And this year has not been an exception.  I have endured many emotional hardships and challenges and pains.  But before this year I had never experienced the harshness of lasting physical pain.

A select few people have heard my story from these past months, and some have walked through the valley with me.  I won’t go into detail, but from Christmas 2007 to today, I have been daily dealing with a physical battle.  It has been an annoyance, an inconvenience, a struggle.  After an E.R. visit, two surgeries, weekly doctor visits, and home care I can safely say that the events of this year and all that I have gone through will never be forgotten.  The lessons I have learned through all of this will always be near to my heart.  The physical pain I encountered this year was unbearable, horrible, excrutiating, and beyond words.  And all in all, its not finished.  I’m still not healed.  As I realized that “one month of healing” wasn’t going to be the case for me, I prepared to fight more and endure more, but I never thought I would still be dealing with this.  My prayer and hope was to be healed by the start of school, but that didn’t happen.  I guess I will become pretty good friends with the nurse on campus

Anyway, through the pain of this year, the Lord continued to teach me and guide me and protect me in ways I couldn’t imagine.  When this all first starting happening, I had no idea was the lesson behind it was or anything of that nature.  How could God teach one of His children a lesson if she is suffering?  I learned that He does.  And in the midst of suffering, when the Lord speaks its like a rainfall during a drought.  It calms and comforts and protects and keeps and nourishes and hydrates and soothes and relieves.  The Lord taught me many things, the first was that I need to slow down.  Prior to my Christmas day E.R. visit, I had been extremely busy.  I worked three jobs and took my college courses online.  Each day was filled in my planner.  I barely had time to sleep.  And when I slept I felt guilty because I had so many other things I could have been doing.  I was too busy.  I never said no and, once again, I over committed myself.   I continually heard God say to slow down, not make so many commitments.  But I kept at it, saying it was only for a season and I could do it, and I couldn’t let other people down.  And since I didn’t listen, God helped me to learn the lesson the hard way.  Since I didn’t lessen my commitments or workload, He did it for me.  But it cost me a lot, and it was painful.  But going through this helped me realize why the Lord wanted me to say no to a job that I wanted to pursue last fall.  He gave me such a peace about it, as I realized there was no way I could have gone through all I did without my mom and support from my family and closest friends.  My mom and Cory were the two people who stood by my side day in and day out; they were the greatest support and caregivers ever.  Anyway, there was no way I could have started a job and then immediately had to take time off for a couple months to recover.  I was so thankful God cleared things up about that decision and was glad He helped me see His plan in that “no” I had to give.  Also, my recovery process made me hold off in getting an apartment out by UCF.  I was planning on going there, after I said no to that one opportunity.  And by not getting the apartment, not signing a lease, not putting down my deposits at UCF, it gave me the freedom to walk down a different door God had planned to open for me.  And that is where I sit now.  Tomorrow I move into my dorm at Union University.  And even though I’m still trying to figure out the need for the second surgery, I know the Lord had a plan behind it.  It is so awesome to see how He works and hear how He speaks and see how He leads and guides.

And on top of this, my decided to go ahead and move despite the house not selling.  My dad has been commuting for the past year, and my parents wanted my sisters to be able to start school on time.  So even though the house is still on the market, we moved up to Tennessee.  We have been here for a little over 3 weeks now, and unpacking and organizing and all else has been crazy!  My brother left for school a couple weeks ago out in Maryland.  So things are changing, thats for sure.  Its a new beginning for everyone in my family.  Each of us are adjusting.  And each of us are going through different things personally.  And each of us have been affected somehow by this move.  We are all in a state of transition, and moving again has definitely taken a toll on all of us.

So with all this behind me, I’m ready to step into a new chapter of life.  I’m ready, so ready, to have a new beginning; to start a new journey.  I couldn’t be anymore ready to be in a new place, meeting new people.  I’m excited to take what I have learned these last months (and years even) and apply it to this new era.  There is no doubt that more struggles and trials will come.  And when they do I will be ready to fight, holding within me the victories over every other trial I’ve overcome and the lessons learned through them.  My God is amazing.  He has given me a new beginning, and a new chapter.  I’m so ready for it and so excited about it.  This new beginning has come at the perfect time.  I am definitely ready to start new, and when I wake up in the morning the new chapter begin to be written.  Praise God!

~Sarah

*And please pray for healing for me, and for our house in Florida to sell!