Really?!??!

Well first of all, this has been our first week of classes.  I must say it’s gone good.  This week has definitely been exhausting though.  It’s tiring getting used to a new schedule and going to classes again and walking around so much.  Naps are becoming a daily priority for me   But anyway, classes are good.  The professors here are so awesome.  They really are.  This semester Cory and I both have Greek, Old Testament Survery, Bible Study and Interpretation, New Testament Survey, and Sophomore Seminar (a writing class thats required).  So we definitely have a full load.  It’s been a blessing that we are in some of the same classes.  It’s great to have the encouragement and accountability and stuff.  More than anything we have so much reading to do.  We have hours of reading each day for all our courses, but Greek is going to take the most out of us.  It is truly very demanding and requires lots of studying each day.  I think it will be well worth it though.  And our professor tries to remind us that this isn’t just a course, but a way to worship the Lord and draw closer to Him.  It’s so cool to have professors that really care about you and your spiritual walk.  Just like Cory said, it’s such a huge blessing being able to attend this school, and it’s something that neither one of us takes lightly.  We are so humbled and gracious that this opportunity has come our way and so glad we are here experiencing this.  There are definitely tiring, frustrating, and tough times that have come about and will come ahead, but I know this is where we are supposed to be, and I’m so glad to be here.  So the first week of classes has gone well, its been a bit overwhelming, and I know Cory and I both are ready to get into the swing of things and get going with classes.  It’s going to be a demanding semester but in the end our God is going to be glorified and that is so exciting!

And even though the classes themselves have been good, this week hasn’t necessarily been the greatest in other areas.  Making friends is hard, especially when you’re coming in as a transfer, as a junior.  But I know God has a plan and I know we’ll meet just the right people who we will become great friends with.  It’s only the first week, so I know there is lots of time ahead, but it feels like its going to go by really fast.  I did have a great dinner with my RA and one of my roommates, we just had a great time of fellowship and talking and getting to know each other and praying together.  It was refreshing and encouraging and so wonderful.  It’s definitely something I needed and desired and I hope the friendships I began to make tonight will grow.

But despite it being tough to make friends, I was also feeling a bit of discomfort the past couple of days with my wound area (to put it nicely)    So today, with Cory pushing me to go   I went to see the college nurse.  Nurse Paul is the nurse here on campus and after meeting him for the first time today, he is such a sweet and caring and encouraging and gentle man.  I’m really grateful he is here.  But anyway, I went to him today and he saw my wound and told me that it is infected, once again.  The tears started flowing right when he said that cause I knew what that meant.  His wife actually works at the wound care center here in Jackson and so he called there and was able to get an appointment for me tomorrow (Friday) morning at 8.  That’s not really something I’m looking forward to.  I cry just thinking about it.  It’s not going to be surgery, where I’ll be under.  But I wish I was.  I won’t know exactly what the procedure will be like till they look at it tomorrow.  But I have a feeling its going to be a bit like that first E.R. visit.  And I can’t even handle just thinking about that.  It’s really weird going into something knowing the pain of it.  It’s one thing to go into something having no clue, but it’s another to go in already having experienced it.  And I can’t handle it.  And my parents were by my side the other time, and waiting for me after the surgeries, but this time it’s just me.  And that’s scary.  I’m scared to death, I’m nervous and I don’t understand why I have to have another procedure.  A thing that was supposed to take a month to heal has turned into 10 months.  10 months of daily dealing with this issue.  Each day waking up and having to face this and tell myself its temporary, even when it feels like its not.  Can I really be having to go through this again?  Really?  I honestly don’t understand it, and I know we won’t understand most of the suffering we go through in this life.  I just don’t think I can take anymore.  I’m tired and worn out and I thought it was over.  But it’s not.  And I’m still tired and worn out and even more exhausted from dealing with this.  I’m scared to death of the appointment in the morning.  I don’t know exactly how long it will take or what it will be, but I just know they have to open it up a little more to get the infection out and let it heal properly, again, but I won’t be out.  They’ll probably numb the area, like they did that first time, and I can’t handle it.  I know my God can though.  And that’s what is helping me get through this.  I surely can’t handle anymore, but my Jesus is so much bigger than this.  It hurts Him to see me hurting, but sometimes I can’t help but question why do I have to go through this again.

I know this was long, I’ve seem to have a lot going through my mind and heart right now.  It’s hard to prepare yourself for something like this.  Please pray for me tomorrow.  My appoinment is at 8.  I am actually meeting Nurse Paul’s wife at 7:45 at the clinic here on campus, and she will drive me to the hospital where the wound specialist center is, and then Nurse Paul will come pick me up.  Please keep me in your prayers.  I am praying for strength and courage and just the ultimate feeling of His embrace.  I can’t go through it on my own, thats for sure.  I really can’t believe this is happening again, but I’m in God’s hands, and have been throughout these whole 10 months.  Physical suffering is such a weird thing.  It’s so hard to understand at times, but it’s almost not to be understood.  It might just be something that causes you to run into your Father’s arms and be held by Him.  I will try to write an update tomorrow.  Please please keep me in your prayers.

~Sarah

And on a side note-please pray for our house to sell in Florida, it really really really needs to sell this month!